| Life sucks |
[Sep. 2nd, 2006|04:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
why is it that the people you depend on the most,
are the first ones to ingnor you,
to say that your dream means nothing to them.
That all you seem to be is a slave,
granting their undying wishes.
like getting them a coke,
when they are to lazy to get off there ass.
To mow the lawn,
when they can't get away from the computer.
To shatter your dream,
when they don't realise how heartless they are being.
Sometimes I wish I could just...hide forever in a cave, decomposing. To become part of the earth where I might, them, actually be useful.
I end up wishing that people would stop lying. But then who am I talking to, I lie to myself. Thinking that they will change when I know they cannot when they do not truely know what change is.
I end up closeing my heart. Knowing to never let anyone inside. So that it cannot be broken again by the same mistake, of letting be there for you. Of thinking that a person I live with my entire life, would be the one to understand me. When she is just a shadow in my heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sorry for being so deppressed latly. I guess its just september, or maybe its another lie I keep telling myself. I can't help but hate it. I mean, its the month where all the things I don't want to happen end up hitting me in the face. 9/11, my brother dying a couple of years ago when I didn't even know him, and then there my mom and another one of her internet boyfriends. You would think school would be enough stress for me. But now I have to put on another fake smile, lying to people again. How sad is my life. But soon after September, maybe it wont have to be a fake smile.
~Haru-chan |
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